Idiot Inc. » Uncategorized

Pfizer says ‘pfuck you’ to 700 pfrench employees

Jacopo Kane — Fri, 12 Dec 2008 17:46:01 +0000

Legal dope-pusher Pfizer is laying off 700 of its 3,000 French employees. Sales staff will mostly be targeted at the company’s Paris headquarters. Cuts will begin in December of next year so at least they are giving workers ample notice.

[CNN] Pfizer To Slash 700 Jobs In France

Viacom sends out memo with lame holiday rules

Jacopo Kane — Thu, 11 Dec 2008 19:20:40 +0000

It’s the holidays, and lots of companies are sending out seasons greetings. This one from Viacom is by far the worst, though. Its nagging, scolding, and bossy tone makes it sound like it was sent from the bitchy librarian at your elementary school. Read the full memo here.

To: All Employees: 1540, 1515 Broadway & 345 Hudson

Subject: HOLIDAY REMINDERS

DECORATIONS

During this time, employees tend to decorate their workspace and/or have potluck department buffets. This memo is just a reminder that if you decorate, you need to be careful not to create any potential safety hazards that may endanger you or your co-workers. Please keep in mind that all holiday lights and decorations must be fire retardant or fire proofed and U.L. approved with the tag attached. Live trees solely for the purpose of a holiday decoration are not permitted. Please do not use unapproved extension cords.

Holiday Flowers are placed in the reception areas on each floor representing the beauty that this time of year brings.

During this special time, we here at Viacom/MTVN wish you and yours a happy, healthy holiday season.

HOLIDAY FOOD SERVICE

Any food service brought to the office areas must be restricted to a conference room or other pre-approved space. If planning on serving hot food remember that use of outside heat sources with an open flame, such as “Sterno”, for warming chafing dishes is strictly prohibited in all Viacom office areas.

For all our safety, Security and Facilities staff will periodically be touring the workspace areas. Any situation encountered that is unapproved or considered unsafe will be corrected or removed immediately. If you need assistance or have a question about this policy, please contact [redacted].

RECEIPT OF PERSONAL PACKAGES

Please keep in mind that all personal packages including holiday gifts, internet purchases and orders from catalog companies, etc. should be directed to your home address. Should an item be received that appears to be personal in nature, it will be held in the concourse messenger center for pick-up with ID that matches the addressee information. These items will not be delivered into the office space.

· You will receive either a voicemail or e-mail notifying you that a package is being held

· These items must be retrieved between 4:30pm and 6pm on the same business day

· Please recognize that Viacom’s acceptance of non-Viacom business related packages is a problem for us to deal with, but we’ll do the best we can. We cannot however, accept any responsibility for loss or damage.

OUTGOING MAIL SERVICES

Please be reminded that mail and package services are for business use only. Use of DHL, UPS or the sending of personal items including holiday cards through the company postage metering system is expressly prohibited. All personal mail must have proper postage affixed prior to placing in the inter-office system. Business related holiday cards should be identified as such and bundled with a note including your name and budget center.

Liquor is considered Hazardous Material and cannot be shipped by any of Viacom’s designated small package carriers (DHL or UPS). This includes use of intra-divisional pouches.

For questions or any assistance you can contact [redacted]

Thank you for your cooperation in helping us to successfully get through this always hectic season! Happy Holidays!

Bayer buys its way out of bribery case — $97.5 million settlement

Jacopo Kane — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 01:03:25 +0000

German medical giant Bayer will pay the U.S. government $97.5 million in order to settle charges that it bribed diabetic supply companies to use its products rather than those of its competitors. The $2.5 million in kickbacks to companies like Wilford Brimley-endorsed Liberty Medical were disguised as advertising payments. Bayer was charged with 11 such deals.

[CNN] Bayer pays $97.5M to settle allegations

CFO of Applied Biosystems also sheds stock before merger

Jacopo Kane — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 22:12:43 +0000

Well the Chairman/CEO of Applied Biosystems isn’t the only one dumping his stock — we have just learned that the company’s CFO, Dennis Winger, is doing the same thing. Winger is selling nearly $11 million in stock before the company merges with Invitrogen.

Unlike Applied’s CEO however, Mr. Winger is not on the list of executives who will be resigning from the company. Since Applied hasn’t issued any statements, we’re forced to speculate about the trading activity. Are these two high executives taking advantage of stock bonuses or are they using the merger as an excuse to unload shares? Either way, it doesn’t speak much for their faith in the combined company…

[Finviz] Dennis Winger’s Insider Trading Activity

JPMorgan to Chase away 10% of investment bankers

Jacopo Kane — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 20:24:51 +0000

JPMorgan Chase is rumored to be laying off 10% of its investment banking staff after taking on thousands of employees from Bear Stearns and WaMu. The banks total workforce is above 200,000, but they have not yet announced an official number of job cuts. Anyone have any info? Let us know.

[Reuters] JPMorgan cuts investment banking jobs: sources

Morgan Stanley layoffs on the way

Jacopo Kane — Wed, 12 Nov 2008 17:10:00 +0000

Some suits from Morgan Stanley have announced — at a Merrill Lynch conference — that the company will be cutting 9% of its employees in asset management and 10% of its employees in institutional securities. These firings will be on top of the 10% head-count reduction that MS had earlier in the year.

Payrolls are being reduced, but dealmaking is clearly underway: Morgan’s CFO said the company is planning acquisitions in retail banking. Oh yeah, and the holiday party is still off.

[Reuters] Morgan Stanley plans job cuts

GlaxoSmithKline lowers the hammer on 1,000

Jacopo Kane — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 16:33:08 +0000

The rumors have come to pass — GlaxoSmithKline will be laying off 1,000 members of its sales staff. This represents 1/8th of it drug-pushing force. The affected workers will be informed by the end of the week, and will be gone by the end of the year.

[Yahoo Finance] GlaxoSmithKline trimming US sales force by 1,000

Entellium execs busted for cooking the books

Jacopo Kane — Thu, 09 Oct 2008 07:13:23 +0000

The CEO and CFO of Entellium were arrested for defrauding their venture capitalists which included Ignition Venture Partners. The company kept two sets of books — the real one with $3.8 million in revenue, and the one they showed to investors with $15.5 million. The dirty financial statements were uncovered by an employee while she was cleaning out a desk.

Paul Johnston, the arrested CEO, wrote a resignation email in which he was repentent for cooking the books since the company’s founding:

“We have both made a grave mistake (in) misrepresenting our revenue to the board… Looking back at the time we thought we would be able to right the wrong and correct our representation, but we have not been able to do this.”

Next time Paul, find a better hiding place and maybe the office snoop won’t find your fraudulent secrets.

More info: Google News

Coca-Cola wants its IT employees to fear the layoffs

Jacopo Kane — Sat, 04 Oct 2008 00:44:40 +0000

Coca-Cola refuses to say how many, but the company has made it clear that there will be layoffs in its 1,200-person IT department by mid-November. I’ve got to applaud management’s brilliant decesion of making their computer geeks fear losing their jobs for the next month and a half. Big morale boost, guys.

Corroboration: Forbes

Vultures circle the chickens at Pilgrim’s Pride

Jacopo Kane — Fri, 26 Sep 2008 08:05:00 +0000

Our favorite poulty-producer, Pilgrim’s Pride, is really busting a move to the wall of shame. Besides the layoffs and the stock implosion, the company’s bonds have now achieved junk status. A Morningstar analyst has also said that bankruptcy is a “very real possibility.” Ouch.

Motor Coach Industries wrecks

Jacopo Kane — Tue, 23 Sep 2008 17:37:05 +0000

America’s largest bus-maker, Motor Coach Industries, has filed for chapter 11 bankruptcy protection. The company has claimed $765 million in debt and over $1 billion in smelly bus assets.

Welcome to the wall of shame, Motor Coach!

CityNAP will hopefully have a green burial

Jacopo Kane — Thu, 11 Sep 2008 20:31:07 +0000

“Green” datacenter in Texas, CityNAP, has declared bankruptcy with $100,000 in assets and $460,000 in debt. The company started last year, hoping to differentiate itself from the thousands of other datacenters by buying wind energy. Hopefully the company will have better look differentiating itself from the thousands of datacenters in bankruptcy court.

From green to red in less than a year

Mercury Companies now bankrupt

Jacopo Kane — Tue, 02 Sep 2008 19:53:12 +0000

A Denver-based company that owned several smaller title companies, Mercury, has filed for Chapter 11. They claim between $50-100 million in liabilities. Nice job, guys.Details.

Welcome Mercury to the wall of shame